Not your typical soccer knockout

How did you get injured?

I took my teammates arse to the face.

Ok, moving on....

NYC FC: How You Like Them Yaya Toures

A missed chance to be United?

My father likes to joke that he’s cousins with Manchester City Football Club owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan. 

Those who know anything about Arabic know that a) his first name is Mansour and our last name is Mansoor, which would preclude any real relation; and b) Mansour/Mansoor is like the Smith of the Arab world, it’s an incredibly common name that spans nearly every region in the Middle East and North Africa.

Despite a lack of filial or any other genealogical connection, my father still roots for the Citizens despite my howls of protest as a die-hard Arsenal supporter. 

“Did you see Yaya Toure’s penalty? So calm and professional. Why can’t Arsenal sign players like that?” he’ll ask, not with any malice. He just likes watching me rend my Invincibles-era scarf. 


So it’s with mixed emotions that I find myself looking forward to Sheikh Mansour’s newest venture, NYC FC, modeled in part on their Premier League cousins, MCFC. There are only two problems: I hate the name and I hate orange piping in the badge. 


It’s the former that contributor Tio Pelotas took issue with when I suggested the name should be NYC United. He protested that it’d be trolling MCFC supporters, who hate no one and nothing more than the damned United, the Red Devils, ManYoo, etc. But I contended that the name NYC United would fit better for a couple of reasons. 

First, they’re the team of the five boroughs of New York City, uniting the disparate fan bases and natural enemies among the citizens of different parts of the city. Yes, we’re one big, happy city, but we generally sneer at each other based on where we live and where we’re from. There’s like a cascade of snobbery, with Manhattanites looking down on those in the outer boroughs; the Brooklyn hipsters insisting on how much cooler they are than the sold-out, soulless “city” people and the passé denizens from Queens; the natural, baseball-born rivals between Queens and the Bronx; and generally no one really cares about Staten Island anyway.

But a city united behind one sports team, that’d be novel, not seen since the city as a whole loved the Knicks in the early 1990s, a fleeting time when we could all call one team ours. Now with the Brooklyn Nets, that’ll never happen again. 


But NYC FC name just lacks that sense of togetherness. It can’t really convey that they’re the only real soccer team (sorry New York/Jersey Red Bulls/Metrostars or whoever you are now) that represents us. 

And they’ll already say united on their shirts. If the main sponsor is Etihad Airlines, like the Citizens, NYC FC’s shirts will be emblazoned with the word Etihad, which means united in Arabic. Citizens fans will just have to accept that their cousins are from the same family but have a different last name. Even if it reminds them of their main rivals.


And who the hell likes their family anyway? As the old Arab proverb goes, unity means many people working together as if they are all one person.

As for the orange piping? It reminds me of the Mets and Knicks. Who wants to emulate those two franchises? Since the Yankees own a stake in the team, I’m surprised they didn’t push for pinstripes. Now that would have made a statement.


Oh, and my father won’t be supporting NYC FC. My parents live in Orlando and are looking forward to their adopted hometown Orlando City joining the MLS in 2015.

I can’t wait until NYC FC raids their ranks and I get to ask my father how he likes them Yaya Toures. 

- Adam Manzor

Bet he can't do that again....

Even Zlatan dug this sexy goal

Yes, the Jordanian Premier League isn't one of the top competitions in the world but this goal was:

Syrian striker, Motaz Salhani, gave his side, Al-Wahdat, the three points against home side Al-Ramtha but also gave the world a glimpse into how adults can still get giddy over a lucky but absurdly-superb goal.

Good on ya, son!

-Tio Pelotas
@TioPelotas74

Klinsmann needs to develop a plan

A 2-0 defeat to Ukraine in a friendly 3 months before the World Cup in Brazil isn’t an awful result. A loss is never great, but at this stage Jurgen Klinsmann should be looking to develop more of a game plan.

The US are solid at the back (as long as John Brooks doesn't play again), but lack a natural ball player. But they’re not alone in that respect – central defenders who can bring the ball out and pick a pass are few and far between.

Tim Howard is a very good goalkeeper, he's prone to the occasional error, but it's his kicking leaves a lot to be desired and that’s partly where the problem lies. 

Because the full-backs are not getting the ball quickly, Howard and his defenders are forced into playing long balls up to Jozy Altidore, who really doesn’t have much support even if he wins the initial header. Clint Dempsey looked rusty, and that’s ok, but there need to be other options other than Deuce.

Jermaine Jones and Sacha Kljestan don’t offer even half of what Michael Bradley does – but the lack of alternatives right now is a little concerning. There is good energy and commitment in the midfield engine room, but not a lot else.  

This leads to lots of short passes in meaningless areas, and a dependence on the long ball and break downs in play rather than having a solid strategy to create chances.

There was no one on the bench that Klinsmann could convincingly turn to if a goal was needed. It took 87 minutes before the US managed a shot on target - that says a lot. 

Yes, Landon Donovan is out and Aron Johannsson isn’t quite up to speed with the team yet, but the US needs some pace and creativity. These players don’t grow on trees and every team, club or national, is desperate for them. But the weak CONCACAF qualifying group, and friendly games like this are a chance to experiment.

Klinsy will get a chance to look at his domestic-based players in next month's friendly against Mexico in Arizona and perhaps a few more friendlies, including one scheduled for Red Bull Arena sometime shortly before the tournament.

Unfortunately, a subdued loss to an average Ukraine team won’t tell Jurgen very much. He might know more about what (and who) not to go with, but it’s highly unlikely he knows his best XI, let alone what XI will start against Ghana in Natal on June 16.

South America's top competition kicks off tonight

Quietly and under the radar, the 55th edition of the Copa Libertadores kicks off tonight as 38 clubs fight to raise the continent's top trophy and succeed Brazil's Atletico Mineiro as champions. The competition is as pure as it gets but the glitz and glamour of Europe's Champions League is notably not as comparable in Libertadores. But trying convincing the press and the participating teams' fervent supporters that the Copa is not as relevant.

The preliminary phase, which involves 12 teams paired up for a home-and-away series, will begin tonight (6pm ET) in Bolivia as Oriente Petrolero hosts one of South America's traditional giants in Uruguay's Nacional, which should have been favorites to move on. Petrolero's fans, on the other hand, have reason to be ignited with confidence instead: some of Nacional's first-team regulars will be unable to partake in the competition as they were banned by Uruguay's civil court after a massive brawl in a friendly derby last week against rivals Penarol.

The Bolivians, which are already a couple of rounds into their domestic season, just hired 39-year-old Uruguayan Tabare Silva as their manager, and who better to tactically figure out countrymen than he. Look for Bolivian veteran centerback Ronaldo Raldes to guide his side as he returns to his country after a decade abroad.

In Mexico (8:15pm ET), Morelia welcomes Colombia's Independiente Santa Fe. The Mexicans named a new manager last night after kicking out their previous one via Twitter last week. Morelia has a tight schedule over the next week, with the two-legged Copa series and a league match against reigning Mexican champs Leon this weekend. Will they survive? The Mexicans have a nice quartet of South Americans in their books, including Ecuador national-team winger Jefferson Montero who will face off against his compatriot Edison Mendez.

Mendez is part of a major overhaul in Sante Fe, who made it all the way to the Copa semifinals last year. Fans are also happy that striker Jonathan Copete is back in Colombia after seven years abroad along with veteran Wilder Medina. 

Keep checking back for more updates and reviews for Copa Libertadores news.

-TioPelotas

@TioPelotas74

Before or after impact? Either way he's lost

It's not a great picture of the Spanish lad anyway, but he's safe in the knowledge that the boot to the head isn't going to make him uglier!

Straight red? And that could be blood or a card, up to the ref to decide.

Just tap it in...tap, tap, tap

You've done the hard work, but who wants to just tap it in. Either stop it, bend down and head it in, or blast it as hard as you can.

Seems the latter wasn't his best option!

Defoe gets a start, although seems lucky to make the squad

No surprise to see Damien Duff on the bench, and think this may be the only way Jermain Defoe ever gets to start!

Almost 25 years, and it's worth watching Arsenal v Liverpool again!

Is it really almost 25 years since Michael Thomas lifted the ball over Bruce Grobbelaar to give Arsenal a 2-0 win and the league title at Liverpool? It doesn't seem like yesterday, but I can't believe it's from the 1988-89 season.

Those two meet again this weekend with far more at stake! Just kidding, but it is the game in the Premier League this weekend. Arsenal are at home and are two points clear of Liverpool (and Chelsea), although some people are already questioning if Arsenal can maintain their strong start after losses to Dortmund and Chelsea - neither of which was in the league.

Arsene Wenger wants to win the league again, make no mistake. I think he knows the Champions League is out of their reach unless they sign another striker, a 'keeper and another centre-back. So the league it is, and they have looked good so far. Aaron Ramsey has been immense, making Jack Wilshire look a shell of the player he was expected to be this year - Wilshire's struggles to get a starting place will help him in the longer term, but there's no doubt it's Ramsey and Mesut Ozil's team right now.

Liverpool are humming, Suarez and Sturridge are the league's two top scorers, they create a load of chances and have good support players competing for places. They look stronger at the back, although I still fancy an error or two from Skrtel or Kolo Toure.

Liverpool don't need to dominate the ball like Arsenal and will try and hit the Gunners on the break at the Emirates, but Arsenal have been a little more ruthless with their chances this season. As long as Giroud stays on, they have the upper hand in my opinion, but Liverpool will score - they just pose too many attacking threats right now, and are brimming with confidence.

It's by far the most interesting game of the weekend in the Premier League, although Everton v Spurs on the Sunday should be good viewing too.

***

Roma play tonight and Sunday, and will be hoping to go 11 for 11. They are fun to watch and aren't conceding goals. It's what you want your team to be, but then who doesn't want to watch Totti win games - apart from fans of Lazio, Inter, Juve, Sampdoria, oh wait, only neutrals and Roma fans love Frank.

***

Gareth Bale scored in midweek, twice. He's worth the money. He's not, he's still a very good player, but I reckon I'd have 5 or 6 in La Liga by now. Barcelona are averaging 3 goals a game and are still unbeaten - don't expect either of the big two to lose anytime soon.... Zlatan is out injured, so no need to watch Ligue Un! Just kidding, Falcao and Cavani are mustard too... Go to a Bundesliga game, don't watch it on TV. If you can't, search for a video of teh Dortmund fans at the Emirates last week - it'll give you goosebumps. 

Can't tackle him? Just hump him instead!

Porto against Benfica, 3-2 and you need the ball back. What do you do? Smash the guy and give away a free-kick or just start humping the guy?

Not really sure what to say about this except the Porto player looks like a giant for some reason.

Tricks of the trade - in Scottish Football !

I expected to see some brutal tackles, awful pitches and awful football in the Scottish league.

I was right.

But this is a nice little trick too, so there are exceptions to the rule.

Sunday Panda Funday

Couldn't resist this.

The Geezer is softening in his old age!

Forget last night's dancing, it's Soccer Saturday

This could be you dancing last night, or fighting for your place in the kebab line after a few too many sherberts.

But it's Saturday, forget last night and get ready for a weekend of football.

Monday morning punch to the face

Heavy weekend as always.

Lots of football and beers, perfect for the Geezer.

Not sure if one of these would wake me up, or knock me out - probably the latter.

A blessing for the weekend's football action

This picture was taken on a Sunday morning - you would have thought the Archbishop/Priest/Cardinal (whatever he is) had something better to do.

But much more importantly, why is he giving the ball back to the opposition straight from kick-off? If he's shooting, he must have been praying a lot if he thought he was going to score from the half-way line. With his instep too, who's he kidding?!

I don't think much of the Church's away kit either.

The whole week has felt like this

It's Friday, it's been a slog this week.

Champions League, Europa League, the Jonjo Shelvey show on Monday.

And guess what, there's more to come this weekend. So even if the week has been a puzzle (there's my tedious link to this odd picture), it's time for more football.

INTERVIEW: Peru's Number 1 Still Learning His Craft

Raul 'Superman' Fernandez looks forward to tough task in Metropolis

Peruvian National 'keeper speaks exclusively to FootballGeezer

Raul Fernandez has enjoyed the sceneries that his football life has taken him from his hometown in Peru to France and to the U.S. He points to the passionate atmospheres of Seattle, Portland and Kansas City and is at peace with his family in Texas. 

But this weekend, as he descends upon the New York metro area for his first MLS match here against the New York Red Bulls, the FC Dallas goalkeeper is pure business and speaks of the need for three vital points.

"We're looking forward to playing against a top team but, truth be told, the pressure's on them, as they're at home," Fernandez, 27, said in a phone interview with FootballGeezer. "For me personally, it's going to be fun since it'll be my first time (at Red Bull Arena) and both teams will be fighting for a win. It'll be an attractive match."

The Peruvian international, who signed with Dallas from Nice in France in January, said he didn't think twice about coming to MLS when he heard of the opportunity and was happy to see firsthand its stature of a growing league.

"I was pleasantly surprised by its physical aspect," he added. "There is much to say about this league and more and more people will be talking about it because it's very competitive."

After being named an MLS All-Star this past summer, Fernandez soaked it all in, even having his pictures taken with Thierry Henry and Landon Donovan before the game against Roma.

"The All-Star game was a new experience for me, which I enjoyed immensely," Fernandez said. "It was such a positive experience to be on the field with players of that quality but it was a personal motivation for me to strive and be there again next year."

Aside from the All-Star festivities, Fernandez touched on the playoff system here but was generally humble about it.

 "Truth is, one needs to adapt overall to any changes or customs that every country has," he reflected. "I had culture shock in France and it was very rough in the beginning but once you accustom yourself, everything works out on its own."

Is he now a full-fledged Texan then?

"Well, I'm very happy here and I hope to stay for years," Fernandez added. "We're in a family-oriented environment and my family is at peace here. To me, that's first and everything else is second."

But Fernandez realizes everything isn't etched in stone. The goalkeeper strives to fight for his place every week and said he wants to continuously impress his manager. He takes it game-by-game but his near-term goal is to help Dallas get into the playoffs.

"As I've learned my whole life, no one is assured of their position," Fernandez said. "I work and train hard all the time whether it's with Dallas or the National team."

But with a long-offseason that most players around the globe aren't accustomed to, Fernandez is asked whether or not he'd consider a loan move after this year's campaign ends.

"That's something I actually haven't thought about," he paused. "But, yes, of course I'd like to have continuity so I can't rule it out. Obviously, that's something that has to be worked out. However, my objective right now is this season and that's to be a champion. After that, we'll see."

- Freddy Sebastian

@TioPelotas74

FC Dallas at New York Red Bulls,
Red Bull Arena

Harrison, N.J.

Sunday, Sept. 22 5pm ET

©FootballGeezer, Freddy Sebastian 09192013

Write to FootballGeezer at @FootballGeez or joeymelv@gmail.com

Fans everywhere know it's Monday

This image is from Burkina Faso against Ethiopia - maybe not a game that will long in the memory, but it does always remind me that it's Monday.

The American - a kick to the groin

The US can pretty much qualify tonight, and pile the pressure on the old enemy

Tonight is the night, fellow Americans. 

While America was in full effect over the weekend with the return of NFL football and the gathering of true patriots, few things in the sporting world could boost our national pride than qualifying for the world's biggest sports tournament while vanquishing a hated foe.

With a little help, the Stars and Stripes can qualify for the 2014 World Cup, and strike a huge blow for archrival Mexico. 

How great would it feel to qualify AND knock them from contention? I'm sure it beats a kick to the groin, right Alexi?  

And Mexico is reeling. They lost to Honduras on Friday, then fired their coach Jose Manuel De La Torre on Saturday. Not a happy weekend for El Tri as they crap their drawers at the prospect of missing the World Cup for the first time since 1982. 

It won't be easy, but it rarely is. Jozy Altidore, Matt Besler and Geoff Cameron are suspended, and Michael Bradley, arguably their best player, is out with an injury.

But we have the home field advantage -- the US has beaten Mexico all three times they have played in Columbus. 

So I'm predicting a 2-1 triumph by the US tonight on home soil. Alamo, bitches! Remember it.

-Nick 'The American' Hatcher

Qualifiers are here; let the whining begin

The soccer gods aren't all against you, they just don't care 

The Geezer supports England and West Ham United; yours truly follows Peru, Alianza Lima and the New York Red Bulls; Nick the American obviously roots for the U.S. but, by all accounts, is making a serious attempt to sew his loyalties to the Philadelphia Union.

What's missing here are the glamour teams. So, yes, we're used to losing. A lot. Suffice to say, the mediocrity of our sides builds our football character. Or so we'd like to think. But at least we're realists.

Come Friday, realists will be outnumbered by the delusional.

As World Cup qualifying winds down to the final matches by year's end, nationalistic pride will take over the lot of us. The conspiracy theorists will no doubt keep us abreast of their thinkings with pure muppetries disguised as analysis:

*the sub-human match officials were bought out, obviously by the opposing team's mafia connections;
*the pitch is in dire condition because of the rain, snow, hail, locusts plague, purposely produced by the host side and its relationship with Mother Nature;
*your beloved team was cursed by witch doctors (happens all the time in South America!);
*the manager is a clueless sap; how dare federation administrators hire him without your input;
*all of the above merits conspiracy thoughts because your side is just too good for the rest of us minnows.

Hyperbole aside, there indeed have been examples of match-fixing, incompetence and unfair play throughout this game's history, we'll give you that. But, then again, what sport hasn't? And it's doubtful that it happens every time your side is down. However, this doesn't matter to the deluded fan because logic and practicability have no part in its quest to be champions of the universe.

The ineptitude in tactics used by your nation's gaffer can be questioned; the lack of dignified work  by your nation's players on the field can be criticized; hell, even the two same, boring songs that your supporters belt out throughout the match deserve some scrutiny.

But any external factors that affect your role as a fan should not be outweighed by the silliness and hypothetical reasonings you find that justifies your team's ineffectiveness. Because at the end of the day, your team is crap, my team is crap, our teams are crap.

And unless your bloodlines consists of the Spanish, Brazilian, Italian or French regions, then reality should set in as quickly as possible. Or at least before that first drink on Friday!

"I'm asking you all to string three passes, three!! Not 28 like Barcelona!" --the furious geezer in the video says in Spanish, aside from some other choice words. At least he blames his own players.