Can't tackle him? Just hump him instead!

Porto against Benfica, 3-2 and you need the ball back. What do you do? Smash the guy and give away a free-kick or just start humping the guy?

Not really sure what to say about this except the Porto player looks like a giant for some reason.

How to celebrate getting sent off!

I think the referee sent him off for the shocking hair cut/coloring, but if you're going to see red, at least celebrate on your way off!

Thanks to Broski Bradshaw for the tip - he's got too much time on his hands!

Liverpool and Newcastle heading in different directions

It's back, it's back.

No-one cared about those pesky qualifiers, allowing Mexico yet another chance to qualify, or anything like that.

All we wanted was club football back. Ok, that's not technically true as there were some great games, high drama and a few good goals too.

***

The Premier League kicks-off with Newcastle v Liverpool - which has some great (relatively) recent history - but now pits too teams who seem to be going in different directions. Liverpool look like a fun, exciting team to watch, with players that will always create chances. Newcastle have Loic Remy,  Hatim Ben Arfa and Yohann Cabaye. That's it. When they don't play well, they look a shocking team. Papiss Cisse seems a shell of the player he was, and I don't expect much after coming back from trying to help Senegal qualify for Brazil 2014.

The drama at Newcastle is not really in the dressing room, but in the board room. Alan Pardew doesn't know if he's coming or going. If someone can explain what Joe Kinnear does, I'd love to know. It's not personal with him, he just doesn't have a place in modern football. He could be the boss of the Crazy Gang, because things were different then. I doubt he knows much about how the game works now, and maybe knows less than the 'confused' Spurs-fan chairman Mike Ashley.

Suarez and Sturridge are firing for Liverpool right now, but I think they miss Coutinho. Creating chances for them isn't a problem, but they need more from Victor Moses, Joe Allen and Jordan Henderson once the fixture list starts piling up.

West Ham v Man City is the other game that stands out to me, but most of my interest will be in whether teams can find some consistency after the International break. Arsenal were playing well, Spurs need a win and Gus Poyet has to get his team going. The next month should be interesting.

***

I hope Gareth Bale gets going against Malaga - the pressure isn't on yet, but it will be if he doesn't start producing by Christmas. Barcelona and Atletico are still 100%, with 8 wins from 8 in La Liga. Let's see who falters first.

Roma v Napoli tonight kicks of the weekend nicely, with Porto v Sporting Lisbon an interesting game in Portugal. 

There's so many games on this weekend, that I think the delivery man is going to be kept busy.