Slick U.S. soccer announces coaching changes on Sunday afternoon

Martin Vasquez reassigned, Tab Ramos tapped to staff

Legend Berti Vogts named as special advisor

Tab Ramos, who was serving as under-20 manager for the U.S. national team, was promoted to Jurgen Klinsmann's staff with the senior national team, while longtime Klinsy protogee was reassigned within the federation pyramid, the U.S. Soccer federation announced late Sunday afternoon.

Also appointed as special advisor to Klinsmann's staff was the legendary Berti Vogts, who will be tasked with developing training plans and scouting. Vogts managed Klinsmann when the Germans lifted the European championship in 1996.

It's a massive move with only a few months ahead of the World Cup--and also a puzzling one--as the news made minor tremors within the U.S. soccer scene since the announcement took place on a Sunday with a full slate of matches stretching from South America to Mexico and MLS.

Any other country would have exploded with speculations, harsh commentaries and confusion but the U.S. soccer journalism bubble should and will have more in-depth analysis as the news is assimilated.

-Tio Pelotas

@TioPelotas74

Klinsmann needs to develop a plan

A 2-0 defeat to Ukraine in a friendly 3 months before the World Cup in Brazil isn’t an awful result. A loss is never great, but at this stage Jurgen Klinsmann should be looking to develop more of a game plan.

The US are solid at the back (as long as John Brooks doesn't play again), but lack a natural ball player. But they’re not alone in that respect – central defenders who can bring the ball out and pick a pass are few and far between.

Tim Howard is a very good goalkeeper, he's prone to the occasional error, but it's his kicking leaves a lot to be desired and that’s partly where the problem lies. 

Because the full-backs are not getting the ball quickly, Howard and his defenders are forced into playing long balls up to Jozy Altidore, who really doesn’t have much support even if he wins the initial header. Clint Dempsey looked rusty, and that’s ok, but there need to be other options other than Deuce.

Jermaine Jones and Sacha Kljestan don’t offer even half of what Michael Bradley does – but the lack of alternatives right now is a little concerning. There is good energy and commitment in the midfield engine room, but not a lot else.  

This leads to lots of short passes in meaningless areas, and a dependence on the long ball and break downs in play rather than having a solid strategy to create chances.

There was no one on the bench that Klinsmann could convincingly turn to if a goal was needed. It took 87 minutes before the US managed a shot on target - that says a lot. 

Yes, Landon Donovan is out and Aron Johannsson isn’t quite up to speed with the team yet, but the US needs some pace and creativity. These players don’t grow on trees and every team, club or national, is desperate for them. But the weak CONCACAF qualifying group, and friendly games like this are a chance to experiment.

Klinsy will get a chance to look at his domestic-based players in next month's friendly against Mexico in Arizona and perhaps a few more friendlies, including one scheduled for Red Bull Arena sometime shortly before the tournament.

Unfortunately, a subdued loss to an average Ukraine team won’t tell Jurgen very much. He might know more about what (and who) not to go with, but it’s highly unlikely he knows his best XI, let alone what XI will start against Ghana in Natal on June 16.

Pelotas' Ponderings: Reflection on historic win in NY

Recovery ends after fans, team celebrate first trophy

(To view additional photos by Danissa Alvarado from Sunday's match, click here)

                                                     
                                           Photo: Danissa Alvarado

As Jay-Z's "Empire State of Mind" served as the soundtrack to celebrations in and around the stadium Sunday evening, many supporters old and new were seen high-fiving, hugging, crying and exhaling profusely. Was this real?

For it was the MetroStars side that was formed for the league's inception in 1996 that gave fans a chance to connect, assemble, unite and support a top-flight side that hasn't been seen since the infamous Cosmos spectacle that brought massive crowds to the old Giants Stadium in the 70s and early 80s.

The city's own Carly Simon had her "Nobody Does It Better" track blared around the stadium's speakers at the conclusion of all Cosmos matches at home. The Cosmos won titles, brought in superstars and were the talk of the town until the party ended in 1984.

It was natural that Major League Soccer would've wanted a revival of New York's famous team by bringing back the Cosmos but it's been widely discussed that bureaucratic bickering prevented it from happening. Enter the MetroStars.

To say the Metros endured a tumultuous relationship with the soccer gods would be an understatement. Anything and everything occurred on and off the field leading to the "That's So Metro" phrase that caught on with supporters, casual and hardcore. 

The Metros were able to ink well-known players and provided home-based players as well in all of its years but that elusive MLS Cup--hell, any trophy for that matter--was on everyone's minds from equipment manager to the front office to the most ardent of all supporters.

In 2006, when Red Bull came calling to purchase and rebrand the team to its namesake product, debates ensued. The team lost some fans and in-fighting reached new levels but management made its attempt to continue its focus on the field, splashing out cash for Juan Pablo Angel, Shakira and Wyclef Jean. OK, maybe, the latter two wouldn't solve its trophy aspirations but the Austrian empire wanted to show it meant business.

Before Red Bull Arena finally opened in 2010, a team video showed Angel gawking at its surroundings and boasting about how the environment would do wonders for any team and its quest for professionalism and potential projects for dominance.

The latter years up to Sunday provided glimpses of a "superclub," as former general manager Alexi Lalas dubbed them before unofficially retracting and labeling his next employer, the Los Angeles Galaxy, as the rightful owner to that name. For now. 

The run to MLS Cup in 2008 was a Cinderella story as they were crowned Western Conference champions but came up short under the California sunshine to Argentine legend Guillermo Barros Schelotto and his Crew side. Nevertheless, away wins at Houston Dynamo and Real Salt Lake showed the league's parity and although the chance to lift silverware came so crushingly close, it was possible. Something was missing.

When favoritism towards European managers died this year, native New Yorker and Metros/Red Bulls ex-backline roughneck Mike Petke was appointed manager after the team's flirtations with overseas candidates. He made sure that Thierry Henry and Tim Cahill knew the ins-and-outs of the long-suffering club. The team combined to produce a chemistry that helped it win its first trophy over the weekend in front of its dedicated supporters, all of whom partied well into the night.

Tonight, the playoffs begin. Ten sides will vy for MLS Cup. For the first time in the league's short history, New York's local side is the team to beat.

Pink eye? Crying? Partying? Landon's eye even has a twitter account!

The US did it! We're headed to Brazil! 

Many questions were answered last night: how would the US fare against El Tri without the injured Michael Bradley and three suspended players (just fine), would they beat Mexico 2-0 once again in Columbus (they did), would Honduras send us through to Brazil (also, yes).

But the one question that we still don't have a clear answer for is what in god's name happened to Landon Donovan's eye?!?

I mean look at this thing! 

The picture made the rounds over Twitter and the rest of the Interwebs last night during the match. It became such a meme that someone came up with that oh-so-clever thing of having his eye tweeting in the first-person from a single-serving Twitter account. I wonder how soon that thing will go dormant.

While ESPN's Roger Bennett said Donovan had an eye infection, I came up with my own theories as to why Landon looks like he went toe-to-toe with Floyd Mayweather. 

From least likely to most likely:

5) He's been possessed. With qualification still up in the air, Landon took one for the team and sold his soul to the devil to ensure a trip to Brazil. But since selling your soul is a high price to pay, I'm sure Landon got his money's worth and the US is guaranteed to take home the gold trophy next year.

4) He got punched in the eye at Friday's. Now hear me out - the night before the match, the boys went out to the local pub to enjoy a few beers and watch some Monday Night (American) Football. (In Columbus, the place to go is TGI Friday's.) Hailing from California, Landon probably supports the San Diego Chargers, so naturally he was sporting a Phillip Rivers jersey. 

Right before he bit into a jalapeno popper (his favorite), some drunk local started jawing at him over his taste in quarterbacks. (Unsurprisingly, Rivers cost the man a fantasy football championship the year before) Landon defended his QB's rep, things got heated and a few punches were thrown. Landon took a fist to the eye. (He deserved it as Rivers stinks.)

3) He's wearing fashion contact lenses and one fell out. He wanted to look intimidating so he bought a pair of those awful lenses. You try finding a tiny, clear plastic lens on a giant green pitch.

2) He's been crying over his breakup with his wife. Yes, his split with actress Bianca Kijilic happened way back in 2010, but I could see why he might still be upset.

and the most likely scenario...

1) He has pinkeye because he doesn't wash his hands properly after wiping / or someone farted on his pillow. Pinkeye, or conjunctivitis, is the swelling of the mucus membrane between the eye and eyelid and it can be caused by allergies, bacteria or a virus (such as herpes!). Hands can become contaminated by coming in contact with infectious tears, eye discharge, fecal matter, or respiratory discharges, according to the CDC.

If pinkeye is indeed the case, it's probably because Landon was in such a hurry to get back on the practice field to ensure US domination that he skipped a step or two while utilizing the training facility commode. 

Or maybe someone just farted on his pillow. It could have been a prank gone horribly awry by one of his puckish teammates (my money is on Eddie Johnson) or a revenge stunt by the hotel staff in Costa Rica. We may never know for sure.

What we do know is that pinkeye is pretty contagious, so I'm surprised he didn't find himself in open space more often last night. And while it hasn't been confirmed if beer helps with conjunctivitis, I doubt anybody was in a rush to hold his bottle for him.

- Nick 'The American' Hatcher

What Jurgen and the US need to do next

First of all, congratulations. The US have qualified for the World Cup in Brazil next summer.

They deserve to be there, but frankly, they should qualify every time if the CONCACAF regions continues to get 3 automatic spots and the chance of a 4th. The US have now qualified 7 times in a row, but it's tough to think they'll ever be the 5th worst team in the region - especially when FIFA ranks Haiti as the 6th best team in CONCACAF. Yes, Mexico have been awful this qualifying campaign, but they still have a very good chance to finish 4th and reach a playoff against New Zealand (ranked 57th in the World).

The region isn't necessarily too easy, they just get too many qualifying spots - make it a hard 3 and the games would be even more competitive, and ultimately improve the standard.

The thing the US need to do now is play difficult games against top European, African and South American opposition. I hope Jurgen Klinsmann and the US Federation arrange friendly games with teams that will challenge them, and highlight the weaknesses.

Currently, the full-backs and outside midfielders are the weak links - with the exception of Landon Donovan. DaMarcus Beasley and Fabian Johnson aren't good enough, Alejandro Bedoya isn't ready yet. Klinsmann needs to get Brek Shea back in form, look to the MLS for new full backs and develop a system to utilize the strengths of Michael Bradley and Clint Dempsey - by far their best players.

Now is a time to celebrate, but finishing second in the group in Brazil and not progressing in the knockout stages isn't progress for soccer in the US. Now is the time to build and improve - simply qualifying isn't a measure of success for the US anymore, competing at the highest level should be the goal.

Also available here on WSJ - http://blogs.wsj.com/dailyfix/2013/09/11/u-s-soccer-congrats-and-criticism/

The American - a kick to the groin

The US can pretty much qualify tonight, and pile the pressure on the old enemy

Tonight is the night, fellow Americans. 

While America was in full effect over the weekend with the return of NFL football and the gathering of true patriots, few things in the sporting world could boost our national pride than qualifying for the world's biggest sports tournament while vanquishing a hated foe.

With a little help, the Stars and Stripes can qualify for the 2014 World Cup, and strike a huge blow for archrival Mexico. 

How great would it feel to qualify AND knock them from contention? I'm sure it beats a kick to the groin, right Alexi?  

And Mexico is reeling. They lost to Honduras on Friday, then fired their coach Jose Manuel De La Torre on Saturday. Not a happy weekend for El Tri as they crap their drawers at the prospect of missing the World Cup for the first time since 1982. 

It won't be easy, but it rarely is. Jozy Altidore, Matt Besler and Geoff Cameron are suspended, and Michael Bradley, arguably their best player, is out with an injury.

But we have the home field advantage -- the US has beaten Mexico all three times they have played in Columbus. 

So I'm predicting a 2-1 triumph by the US tonight on home soil. Alamo, bitches! Remember it.

-Nick 'The American' Hatcher

Robbie Earle, Kebabs and a Geezer

Gus Johnson makes Mark Lawrenson sound like a genius

NBC coverage of soccerball could be a disaster

Augustus Cornelius "Gus" Johnson, Jr. hasn't endeared himself to football fans, although part of it may be that he's working with Ian Wright. Analysis, a very loose term, is given by Warren Barton and Brian McBride (of  Blue Steel fame). 

But Fox Soccer is not covering the Premier League this season. Starting tomorrow, it's down to NBC to unleash it's own expert analysis. I'm interested to hear what Graeme Le Saux has to say, but not so much Lee Dixon.

Gary Lineker will be contributing, but I'm most looking forward to hearing Robbie Earle. Having bumped into him outside a nightclub, he could barely stand and looked like he needed help. A quick beer and a kebab with the Geezer and he was all good. Let's hope he brings the same dedication to commentating as he did to drinking.

Here's the full list of the new NBC team.

If you read one thing today, make it this

Something the US National Team won't look back on with pleasure

Ok, so this is how Grantland describes this article...

"And that was how the most amazing photo shoot in the history of U.S. soccer came blazing — literally blazing, like a Mack truck filled with dragons and pushed off the top of Mount Rushmore — into existence."

If you read one thing today, make it this. I'm sure Landon Donovan, Kasey Keller and Pablo Mastroeni (yeah, me too) have been given a hard time about it in many dressing rooms, but a gentle reminder never hurts.

Here's a sneak peak (and yes, he was a current national team player at the time), and here's the link to the article.

Geezer of the Day

What is there to say about this guy? Every soccer fan says he's a New Jersey and USA legend - and the kind of guy who Geezers would love to have a pint with - basically he's everything that Alexei Lalas isn't.

(UPDATE: Fair play to Alexi @AlexiLalas - he tweeted back to point out I couldn't spell his name!)

He was drafted by the New York Yankees out of high school, tried out for the New York Jets as a kicker, played 100 times for his country and most importantly, had a Super Nintendo game named after him.

I know I'm gonna see him at Satin Dolls soon (that's the Baba Bing to all Sopranos fans).

In 2012, he was inducted into the Mullet Hall of Fame - who can argue with that?

Business in the front, party in the back.

 and seems he inspired a generation!

The American

American Football Coach Ted Lasso Hired to Manage TOT’NUM

What would happen if an American football coach was hired to coach a Premier League soccer team? It’s a good bet their learning curve would be pretty steep (and they may misinterpret the word ‘wanker’ as a term of respect and endearment.)

The sketch -- made to promote the Premier League on NBC Sports -- stars Jason Sudekis as American football coach Ted Lasso hired to manage Tottenham, or TOT’ NUM. There he learns that besides the name, American football and the kind played everywhere else have very little in common. Tackling, scoring, offsides, you can pass forwards AND backwards, that the ball goes under the crossbar, not over it.

But whether they’re called Manchester United  or the Dallas Cowboys, both games always have a super rich team people either love or hate.

Now, will somebody *please* explain offsides to us Americans??

                                                                       -Nick Hatcher

UPDATE: The American

US wins first Gold Cup final since 2007

Match with Panama was repeat of 2005 final (which the US won on penalties)

(Just a small Update, but The American almost got it right - but then, who else was he going to pick?!)

Brek Shea scored just 42 seconds after coming into the final as a substitute, and his goal in the 69th minute gave the US a 1-0 victory over Panama in the CONCACAF Gold Cup final. It is the fifth Gold Cup title for the U.S., but it's first since 2007. The victory also extended the Americans' winning streak to a record 11 games, four more than their previous best.

(Here's the original post)

Is there any team in the world as good as the Americans right now??

I didn't have access to a television on Wednesday night and wasn't able to watch the US-Honduras game, so I had to rely on Twitter updates. Soon after the game started, tweets started scrolling across my screen saying things like Eddie Johnson makes it 1-0!!! 

A few minutes later: Donovan scores!, US up 2-0!!!

I emailed the Geezers and wrote what any red-blooded American would say: U-S-A! U-S-A!

With the Stars and Stripes' 3-1 semifinal win over Honduras, coupled with a loss by arch-rival Mexico, the US is in prime position to capture the CONCACAF Gold Cup, its first since 2007.

This begs the question: Is there any team in the world as good as the Jurgen Klinsmann's team right now??

Okay, come back. That is not a serious question. Yes, of course there are; better in fact. But that's what happens when you rip off a team-record 10-straight wins while channeling our nation's government by imposing their will on other countries; confidence gets high, so Americans get cocky.

And I know all this because 1) I'm an American and we get excited when we win anything. And 2) I read it somewhere. ESPN maybe?

Now, nobody is suggesting the Americans would go right out and play at this high a level against Brazil or Spain. However, it's fun to get excited about your national team and dream a little bit bigger.

On Sunday, the US will take on Panama--a rematch of the 2005 Gold Cup final. I know a little about soccer and even less about Panama the country. Therefore, any prediction presented herein is completely biased by my own national pride.

But screw it. US wins it 3-1. U-S-A! U-S-A!

                                                                                  - Nick Hatcher

The Gold Cup - that summer trophy every player dreams of

Klinsmann Finally Facing Some Selection Questions

Teams finally begin to challenge the US/Mexico monopoly on the Gold Cup

If there’s a time for the U.S. to lift the Gold Cup trophy, it’d be now. Sure, they’re deploying a ‘B’ team and wins over Cuba and Belize won’t exactly light a fire in any other international tournament but this is still a competition---a win will send them to the next Confederations Cup slated to be in Russia in a few short years. And the U.S. side looked and played dynamic in their wins over Costa Rica and El Salvador.

Now’s the real test: Honduras in the semifinals. The Catrachos have risen in the ranks of CONCACAF, especially after qualifying for the World Cup in 2010 and subsequently sending their best players to top leagues. They beat the U.S. in the first round of the hexagonal qualifying stages earlier this year, the last time the U.S. suffered a loss in nine matches in 2013. And they haven’t been to the Gold Cup final since 1991, where they lost to the U.S. in penalties.

The U.S. is still reeling from its 4-2 loss to Mexico in the 2011 edition. But their wave of confidence at the moment should help them to not only lift the trophy this year but also provide manager Jurgen Klinsmann with a headache when planning to see how his ‘B’ team players will fit into his ‘A’ side come the World Cup next year.

Canada are the only team other than the US or Mexico to have won the Gold Cup (in 2000), but with the Klinsmann trying a few players out and El Tri (who play Panama in the other semi-final) struggling for form, maybe times are changing in the Gold Cup.

                                                                                                         -Tio Pelotas

Landon Donovan looking for a new sponsor?

US National team plays Honduras on Wednesday night

Donovan making a play to be first player to wear Google Glass during a game?

Landon Donovan has been in good form for the US recently after being recalled to the squad for the Gold Cup. Seems he may be mellowing a little in his old age too - he usually looks like he's sucking on a lemon, but has shown some emotion (other than arrogance) in this year's tournament.

I'm pretty sure the assistant wanted those glasses for himself too!