Admit it, you love Cristiano, even while hating him

What more can be said about the Portugeezer?

He's the best player in the world at the moment - he took his country to the World Cup next summer, has broken all types of records, scores great goals, has a model as a girlfriend, an eight-pack, 42 nice cars, 16 homes and more money and talent than most of us will ever have.

He's so good, but he's also someone it can be hard to like. You can love his talent, looks and girlfriend, but Cristiano is someone that is hard to like. He comes across as arrogant, aloof and miserable - which is hard to understand with everything he has. The media intrusion must be hard to deal with every day, but smile a bit more - like you did when you scored the hat-trick last night.

People love him and hate him, but not many seem to like him.

And because of that, I'm posting this...

Zlatan or Ronaldo - and you can't have both

So the big game tomorrow in the European playoffs for the Brazil 2014 World Cup has to be Greece v Romania. Can't wait for that one!

Then there's Portugal v Sweden. Cristiano against Zlatan. The two superstars have 48 goals between them this year, and 7 hat-tricks. With Lionel Messi injured, these two are the best two players in the game right now.

Zlatan has it all - the goals he scores are unbelievable, but his technique is phenomenal. He's such a character and has a personality that Brazil needs next summer.

Ronaldo is moody, elusive and more model than footballer. But what a footballer. He has everything, and has to be considered one of the greats of the game already - and he's only 28.

But we can't have both. Never team could win their group, although Sweden had a much tougher task after being paired with Germany. And the luck (or should we say bad luck) drew the two teams together. I wouldn't be bothered if Sweden or Portugal weren't there, but if Ronaldo and Zlatan aren't there, they will be missed.

France should beat Ukraine over two legs. They have quality at the back and in midfield, with Ukraine posing little threat in my opinion. Iceland are huge underdogs against Croatia, but they are the feel good story of European qualification. Greece and Romania is a game that doesn't excite me at all, which probably means it will be the best one. Neither team will do much in Brazil, but then I said that when Greece won the Euros in 2004!

I'm taking Sweden to win over the two legs, with Greece, Iceland and France joining them. Cristiano has it all already, and he'll sulk for a while, but then console himself with his model girlfriend, millions of dollars and addiction to sunbeds.

There can only be one....or 4 of 8

FIFA posted the 4 games that will decide the final European qualifiers for next summer in Brazil.

With 9 places taken, the winners over two legs will take Europe's contingent up to 13.

According to the FIFA website...

Portugal - Sweden
Ukraine - France
Greece - Romania
Iceland - Croatia

Portugal (ranked 14), Greece (15), Croatia (18) and Ukraine (20) were the seeded teams while France(21), Sweden (25), Romania (29) and Iceland (46) were unseeded, based on the FIFA/Coca-Cola World Ranking of 17 October 2013.

The home-and-away play-off matches are due to be played on 15 November and 19 November respectively.

So, who do you fancy?

I'm taking Zlatan over Cristiano. Why? I don't know, I just think Zlatan knows it's probably his last World Cup, loves it when someone has an ego to match his, and would really enjoy sticking it to Sepp Blatter and FIFA. He knows they want/need Ronaldo at the World Cup. He's such an icon of the modern game and attracts so much interest. I'd like to see both teams go, but that's the beauty of it - it's like Highlander - there can only be 1....or 4 of 8, just doesn't sound as good!

France have the quality to beat Ukraine, but I worry about them. They are so inconsistent, but Didier Deschamps has got his team together a little and playing well. Ukraine are ok, but I don't see them winning away if they need to.

Greece against Romania is probably the lease exciting tie, but I fancy Greece, even with Gerogios Samaras in the team. 

And then there's Iceland. I don't think there's a neutral out there who doesn't want them to make their first big tournament - and it has nothing to do with Croatia. I'd like to see Eidur Gudjohnsen get there - mainly because he used to play for the national team with his Dad, and has great goal celebrations.   

Cristiano ends the debate over who's better

It's not because he got a hat-trick and Lionel Messi matched him the very next night, it's because he's had enough of the comparisons and is taking the ball home so no one can play anymore!

Either that or he had a few too many kebabs in turkey last night. Either way, he's still not as heavy as the 'proper' Ronaldo.

Anyway, Theo Walcott just scored a volley for Arsenal, so he must be in the top 3 now.

Bale may not move after Ronaldo tantrum

The Gareth Bale to Real Madrid saga doesn't show any signs of ending soon.

Surely Spurs should just take the money and then sign whoever Liverpool are about to hold talks with. Or wait until Arsene Wenger is finally ready to splash the cash and then swoop in with a late bid.

But there may be another issue as to why Bale hasn't signed yet (even though we all know he will once the money is sorted out) - Cristiano Ronaldo.

Apparently he's not happy about sharing the spotlight, isn't about to share hair product and can't believe anyone could possibly be worth more than him. Don't cry Cristiano, it's not like Real Madrid are bringing Mourinho back.

Toss a coin - the La Liga Preview this year (applies for foreseeable future)

La Liga kicks-off this weekend, and it's as simple as this: Barcelona or Real Madrid? Pick one.

It's that simple. Neymar will score 25+ for Barca, Messi will probably get another 40 or more. Cristiano is going to score 50 for Real, and Ancelotti will get more from his team than Mourinho did. If they add Bale, then I think Real become favorites, but without him I would put my money on Barca.

The Spanish league just isn't that interesting. It has similar issues to the German Bundesliga in that it's very predictable who the top two will be. All-time, Real have won the league 32 times to Barcelona's 22, but Barca have been stronger in recent years.

An interesting stat to look for this year could be whether Lionel Messi becomes the record scorer in La Liga history. He currently has 215 in 245 games, which is good for 7th on the list. Di Stefano, Raul and Hugo Sanchez are still ahead of him, with Telmo Zarra leading the way with 251. It's strange to say, but I can't see Messi scoring less than 36 in the league this year - and I can't even think when someone in any of the other league's got close to that in a season.

I'm taking Barcelona this year. Other teams like Atletico Madrid and Valencia have sold their best strikers to other leagues, while the two big boys are picking off the young, emerging talent too. Sad to say, but La Liga is going to be a two-horse race for a long time to come.

Love or Hate him?

Ok, so Real Madrid beat Chelsea in a huge tournament last night, something that indicated exactly how the season is going to finish (put your bets on the LA Galaxy beating Juventus every time they meet this year).

But one genuine thing that did occur was another fantastic free-kick from Cristiano. And then a celebration to prove what a bell-end he is - look that word up in Urban Dictionary if you're unsure!

So there's this...

Followed by this...

Couldn't we have one without the other? Or do they go hand-in-hand?

Tricks of the trade

Whatever you think of Cristiano, there is no denying his talent. His days of awful dives, 48 stepovers and crashing supercars seem to be behind him. He's still a bit of a baby, but do love to watch him take someone on.

Cristiano Ronaldo Throws First Pitch

I wonder if Yasiel Puig could slide tackle (or if Cristiano could)

Real Madrid star shows off his throwing arm

Ok, so that's not him above, but couldn't resist. Sure the pretty boy uses more make-up, hair product and bronzer than Carly-Rae (whoever she is) anyway.

Should Spurs sell Gareth Bale?

They should take the money and run, in my opinion

No-one is bigger than the team

Ok, people who know the Geezer will tell you I’m not a huge Spurs fan, not even a little bit of one in all honesty. And as much as I’d love them to sell their best player to make them worse, I also think it makes sense.

Bale and Cristiano Ronaldo would be amazing for Real Madrid, and in that weak Spanish league they would probably both score 40+ a season. It’s not the best test of Bale’s talents, but he would get to compete in the Champions League every year, for the La Liga title, and not have to go to places like Stoke and Hull and get kicked every week. (They have dirty players in Spain too, but everything seems more glamorous than working class English towns!).

And for Spurs, take the $150 million or whatever stupid money is being offered. Rebuild the stadium, and most importantly, the team. Other clubs will no doubt overcharge you knowing how much money you have, but get in a handful of top quality players for $25 million each. Get a proper striker or two, a creative midfielder and a centre-back.

Football all over the world needs to remember (especially the players), that no one player is bigger than the club. I’m looking at Rooney, Falcao, Ibrahimovich, even Ronaldo at Manchester United. As fans we never think they’ll be replaced, but they always are. Different stars emerge, and we move on – and it gives us another player to shout at when they come back and score against our teams!