Not to accuse referees, but this needs to stop

Aston Villa are denied a penalty when Vertonghen dragged Helenius down by his shorts, then Real Madrid are awarded a spot kick in the 97th minute when it looks like Elche may hold them to a 1-1 draw.

Two decisions that changed football matches, points, participation in cups and ultimately, money and success.

Spurs probably would have beaten Villa anyway, but Real Madrid couldn't beat newly promoted Elche, who had been out of the top flight for 24 years.

It was no surprise that Pepe 'won' the penalty, as he's used to getting his own way, or kicking out until he does. Losing to him would have been a loss of face, so it was either a red card, or cheating to win.

But there are plenty of players that cheat (Ashley Young is back in the spotlight), but we need stronger referees.

Just because Manchester United, Real Madrid etc. are expected to beat the smaller teams, referees can't have different sets of rules for different teams/players.

We deserve consistency, honesty and professionalism. There is more than money and success on the line. There is integrity. There is no doubt that Real Madrid win is tainted. And while they will still finish in the top 2, Elche could get relegated by a point and have to wait another 24 years to play in La Liga.

Let's pay the referees more, make them (and the cheats) more accountable, and make it an even playing field.

Lessons for the weekend

As all geezers should know, there are various steps you take to get ready for the weekend.

Shower. Clean clothes. Enough beer and kebab money. No chat-up lines. And brush your teeth.

Seems like someone forgot one of the rules.

Or he had the kebab and chili sauce too early - and can't fault him for that.

Just to add a little more confusion to the offside rule

Was he in line when the ball was played?

Goal line technology may be on people's minds, but debate on the offside rule rages on

With some new changes to the offside rules coming in this season, there could be even more confusion (and hence more heated debates among geezers). FIFA has slightly changed the wording of the 'Interfering' section of Law 11, as well as the 'Gaining an Advantage' section.

I used to think that people were just not making any effort to understand what is a relatively simple rule, but now I'm a little perplexed myself. Is the player coming back from an offside position? Are they interfering? Is there daylight? Was his left ankle offside when the ball was played?

Here's FIFA's PDF on the definition of offside.

Gone are the days of sitting around with the ketchup bottle, salt shaker and HP sauce - no one really knows the rules anymore, including referees. It's been made far too complicated and I think it's the inconsistency of the decisions that infuriates players, managers and fans. It's easy to tell when Pippo Inzaghi is offside (the answer is 'always'), but how the assistant referees (linesmen) can make that call in a split second is beyond me.