Stay on your feet, or don't drink at half-time

We're losing, let's take a quick corner before they can get organized.

Oh, sorry, I'm drunk and didn't notice the corner flag. Shouldn't the flag get a yellow for a late trip?

Maybe my drinking at half-time is why we're losing...

What Jurgen and the US need to do next

First of all, congratulations. The US have qualified for the World Cup in Brazil next summer.

They deserve to be there, but frankly, they should qualify every time if the CONCACAF regions continues to get 3 automatic spots and the chance of a 4th. The US have now qualified 7 times in a row, but it's tough to think they'll ever be the 5th worst team in the region - especially when FIFA ranks Haiti as the 6th best team in CONCACAF. Yes, Mexico have been awful this qualifying campaign, but they still have a very good chance to finish 4th and reach a playoff against New Zealand (ranked 57th in the World).

The region isn't necessarily too easy, they just get too many qualifying spots - make it a hard 3 and the games would be even more competitive, and ultimately improve the standard.

The thing the US need to do now is play difficult games against top European, African and South American opposition. I hope Jurgen Klinsmann and the US Federation arrange friendly games with teams that will challenge them, and highlight the weaknesses.

Currently, the full-backs and outside midfielders are the weak links - with the exception of Landon Donovan. DaMarcus Beasley and Fabian Johnson aren't good enough, Alejandro Bedoya isn't ready yet. Klinsmann needs to get Brek Shea back in form, look to the MLS for new full backs and develop a system to utilize the strengths of Michael Bradley and Clint Dempsey - by far their best players.

Now is a time to celebrate, but finishing second in the group in Brazil and not progressing in the knockout stages isn't progress for soccer in the US. Now is the time to build and improve - simply qualifying isn't a measure of success for the US anymore, competing at the highest level should be the goal.

Also available here on WSJ - http://blogs.wsj.com/dailyfix/2013/09/11/u-s-soccer-congrats-and-criticism/

Would Brazil be the same without England fans?

England boss Roy Hodgson can't win, even if he wins. If England beat Ukraine later, they would be pretty close to being able to book tickets to Brazil - and start the paperwork for all the convicted criminals in the team to get visas! But they are expected to make the major tournaments, even tho they haven't won one since 1966 - just so that the fans can turn on the team, get depressed, smash up the bar and boycott the favorite beer of the host nation or team that knocked them out.

So here's to the optimism of England fans, and the hope that a win is on the cards, just so I can get easy access to Bohemia beers on the Copacabana next summer!

The American - a kick to the groin

The US can pretty much qualify tonight, and pile the pressure on the old enemy

Tonight is the night, fellow Americans. 

While America was in full effect over the weekend with the return of NFL football and the gathering of true patriots, few things in the sporting world could boost our national pride than qualifying for the world's biggest sports tournament while vanquishing a hated foe.

With a little help, the Stars and Stripes can qualify for the 2014 World Cup, and strike a huge blow for archrival Mexico. 

How great would it feel to qualify AND knock them from contention? I'm sure it beats a kick to the groin, right Alexi?  

And Mexico is reeling. They lost to Honduras on Friday, then fired their coach Jose Manuel De La Torre on Saturday. Not a happy weekend for El Tri as they crap their drawers at the prospect of missing the World Cup for the first time since 1982. 

It won't be easy, but it rarely is. Jozy Altidore, Matt Besler and Geoff Cameron are suspended, and Michael Bradley, arguably their best player, is out with an injury.

But we have the home field advantage -- the US has beaten Mexico all three times they have played in Columbus. 

So I'm predicting a 2-1 triumph by the US tonight on home soil. Alamo, bitches! Remember it.

-Nick 'The American' Hatcher

World Cup playoffs and commentator eliminations

Lots to be excited about today.

There's a Japan v Ghana friendly, Lithuania v Liechtenstein and a few other real humdingers.

In other news, there are plenty of games that could decide who we will see in Brazil next summer - if only they had a playoff between Alexi Lalas and Mark Lawrenson so that we wouldn't have to see both of them talking about the World Cup. Hopefully Tommy Smyth has already been eliminated as the Faroe Islands of football announcers - it's not in the Ol' Onion Bag for you Tommy, you bell end.

The US v Mexico, Ukraine v England, Armenia v Denmark, Italy v Czech Republic - can't wait for it all to start. I'm almost as excited as this fella...

You wanted to take a quick throw? My bad

We've seen Ronaldinho do this a few times before, but it's still great to watch.

Especially when the other guy wants to take a quick throw.

Here you go, oh, my bad.

Geezer of the day - Batigol

It's the 9th of the 9th, so I thought I'd go with a famous number 9 for today's Geezer.

Diego called him the best number 9 he had seen play, he refused to cut his hair to comply with team rules, stayed with Fiorentina to get them promoted back to Serie A and banged in 56 in 78 for Argentina.

Who can't love a man with the nickname 'Batigol'? Gabriel Batistuta was one of the best of recent times, and you have to agree because Diego said it, so it must be true!