The Sunday morning football plan actually works

In the dressing room before a game (or in your car, under a tree or anywhere else you can get changed on a Sunday morning before the game), there's usually a discussion something like this.

Bang it forward early, put them under some pressure, see what they're like at the back.

Usually people are too hungover to want the ball, so smashing it up their end means you have 30 seconds more to get used to the alcohol sloshing about in your stomach.

But it seems they do it at the top level too, just probably not for the same reasons!

He's probably better than you

There's always one player you see in the pre-match warm up having a cigarette and a can of Stella - you hope they are marking you, as you're shattered from the night before and jealous that you're not downing that can of Stella.

But then they're always better than you think, especially the fat goalies! You think it'll be easy to notch a goal or two, but he's like a skinny Neville Southall with the vocabulary of an unmedicated Tim Howard.

Got to love Sunday morning football.