Why do I have to swap shirts with the fat, sweaty guy?

You'd probably get fined and have to buy yourself a new shirt if you did this on  Sunday morning (or if you played for Portsmouth in their current bankrupt state).

But it goes to show, it's always worth asking - especially if she's a hot Swedish soccer player!

Why amateur teams never change shirts

Tio Pelotas seems to spend his time trawling the internet for things like this, but who am I to tell a man with the nickname 'Uncle Balls' what to do.

We've all been in this situation - I can remember starting games with less than 11 - and it's a good lesson in why you always check for the paper first, or use the boxers!