Who wouldn't want to sh*t on Steve Bruce?

Many people say he looks like his face has been hit by a shovel, and that even though it's happened before, people would like to do it again.

Am I being harsh on Steve Bruce?

He's not a looker, but we won't hold that against him. How could we when his own club even promotes the idea of taking a dump on him?!

Yes, Hull City - King Tigers of Yorkshire - are selling a Steve Bruce toilet seat ahead of their FA Cup Final with Arsenal on Saturday. Here is the evidence...

So you can't actually shit on him, but you could piss on him. Seems a little strange to say the least, and not sure I'd want to compare my johnson to his nose!

Change at the top is good for everyone

Everton smashed Arsenal this weekend, and it was refreshing to see. Not because I want to see Arsenal suffer, but because the league can get stale if the same teams dominate every year.

It's the same reason it's great to see Manchester United struggle. It's about time their fans saw an average team, a manager who is struggling to pick his best side, and (most likely) a year without a trophy.

If you support anyone but United or Arsenal, you can probably remember a time when your team was rubbish, and sneaking a 1-0 away win against a team in the bottom 3 was a great result. Arsenal, Manchester United (and the more recent versions - Manchester City and Chelsea) have expected to beat teams like West Brom, Stoke, West Ham and Aston Villa for years. There were surprise results for those teams against the big boys, but they were becoming few and far between.

And there's where it can get boring and repetitive.

If you can predict the top 2 ever year, it's not a great spectacle. If you have 5 or 6 teams competing for the Champions League places, then you engage so many more fans.

City and Chelsea have a lot of money to make sure they are up at the top, but Liverpool and Everton have really crashed the party this year, and many think that Tottenham should have done the same.

It's great for the health of the game in England. United and Arsenal will come again, but eating some humble pie for a season or three will help them refresh their approach. They may not be able to attract the big stars without Champions League football, but that poses new questions and the search for solutions.

Football is an ever-evolving game and we need a shake-up every now and then. Relegation and promotion between the leagues helps, but the teams at the very top need to be reminded that their won't dominate forever - and fans of smaller, less-successful teams will enjoy every minute of seeing the Uniteds and Arsenals of this world struggle.

Is Jack Wilshere's career over?

Of course it's not, but he may he's lucky to have had a son called Archie and a daughter named Delilah by age 22, because he's unlikely to have more after this tackle!

*and on second look it seems it may have caught him in the thigh, but who knows, some people have all the luck!

NYC FC: How You Like Them Yaya Toures

A missed chance to be United?

My father likes to joke that he’s cousins with Manchester City Football Club owner Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed al Nahyan. 

Those who know anything about Arabic know that a) his first name is Mansour and our last name is Mansoor, which would preclude any real relation; and b) Mansour/Mansoor is like the Smith of the Arab world, it’s an incredibly common name that spans nearly every region in the Middle East and North Africa.

Despite a lack of filial or any other genealogical connection, my father still roots for the Citizens despite my howls of protest as a die-hard Arsenal supporter. 

“Did you see Yaya Toure’s penalty? So calm and professional. Why can’t Arsenal sign players like that?” he’ll ask, not with any malice. He just likes watching me rend my Invincibles-era scarf. 


So it’s with mixed emotions that I find myself looking forward to Sheikh Mansour’s newest venture, NYC FC, modeled in part on their Premier League cousins, MCFC. There are only two problems: I hate the name and I hate orange piping in the badge. 


It’s the former that contributor Tio Pelotas took issue with when I suggested the name should be NYC United. He protested that it’d be trolling MCFC supporters, who hate no one and nothing more than the damned United, the Red Devils, ManYoo, etc. But I contended that the name NYC United would fit better for a couple of reasons. 

First, they’re the team of the five boroughs of New York City, uniting the disparate fan bases and natural enemies among the citizens of different parts of the city. Yes, we’re one big, happy city, but we generally sneer at each other based on where we live and where we’re from. There’s like a cascade of snobbery, with Manhattanites looking down on those in the outer boroughs; the Brooklyn hipsters insisting on how much cooler they are than the sold-out, soulless “city” people and the passé denizens from Queens; the natural, baseball-born rivals between Queens and the Bronx; and generally no one really cares about Staten Island anyway.

But a city united behind one sports team, that’d be novel, not seen since the city as a whole loved the Knicks in the early 1990s, a fleeting time when we could all call one team ours. Now with the Brooklyn Nets, that’ll never happen again. 


But NYC FC name just lacks that sense of togetherness. It can’t really convey that they’re the only real soccer team (sorry New York/Jersey Red Bulls/Metrostars or whoever you are now) that represents us. 

And they’ll already say united on their shirts. If the main sponsor is Etihad Airlines, like the Citizens, NYC FC’s shirts will be emblazoned with the word Etihad, which means united in Arabic. Citizens fans will just have to accept that their cousins are from the same family but have a different last name. Even if it reminds them of their main rivals.


And who the hell likes their family anyway? As the old Arab proverb goes, unity means many people working together as if they are all one person.

As for the orange piping? It reminds me of the Mets and Knicks. Who wants to emulate those two franchises? Since the Yankees own a stake in the team, I’m surprised they didn’t push for pinstripes. Now that would have made a statement.


Oh, and my father won’t be supporting NYC FC. My parents live in Orlando and are looking forward to their adopted hometown Orlando City joining the MLS in 2015.

I can’t wait until NYC FC raids their ranks and I get to ask my father how he likes them Yaya Toures. 

- Adam Manzor

Tight at the top, but Arsenal are done if they lose

If Arsenal lost at Chelsea, you have to think they are out of the title race. They would be 7 points behind with 8 games left - yes they have a game in hand, but they'd probably have to win all 8 to even have a chance of finishing above Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester City. They could finish 2nd, but overcoming all 3 rivals at this point will be tough anyway.

Arsene Wenger is desperate to end the trophy drought, but the FA Cup is looking like the more realistic option. And perhaps that is what Arsenal have lacked - options. Giroud has been out of form, and Walcott out injured - without them (or Ramsey's goals from midfield), Arsenal have struggled. I am just not sure they have enough options to mix it up should they go behind. But here's a game that they have to go for it if they go behind. There is really nothing to lose if they go down 2-0, 3-0 or 5-0 - some pride maybe, but Spurs, Everton and Manchester United aren't catching them for 4th.

As for Chelsea, a draw isn't terrible, but they are still in Europe and will be confident of progressing against PSG in the quarterfinals of the Champions League - although why anyone is confident of beating a team with Zlatan in is beyond me. Chelsea are getting old and slow at the back, but they have more than enough going forward to exploit some of Arsenal's weaknesses (and yes, I do mean Mikel Arteta in the defensive midfield role).

Manchester City have a tough week coming up, with United and then Arsenal to come - failing to beat Fulham should mean they don't win the league. Fulham have been awful all season, and City should be beating them 4-0 or more.

Liverpool have to win away at Cardiff and home to Sunderland in midweek if they are to realistically compete. Two of the league's bottom three have to be dispatched if Brendan Rodgers' team expect to win the title.

It's an interesting weekend at the top - no one can afford to lose, but if Arsenal do, we may be down to a 3 horse race. If any of the others lose (and Arsenal don't) they have to be right in the mix. The top is getting as interesting as the bottom - and I'm willing to hear all schoolboy jokes on that!

Why don't more teams 'go for it'?

Arsenal and Manchester City can have few complaints when they see they are not in the final 8 of the Champions League. Yes, there were bad decisions, penalties, red cards and chances missed, but neither team really went for it in the second leg.

You're 2-0 down on aggregate away from home against the biggest teams in Europe, and you don't change the game plan. Both Arsenal and City started with one up front and flooded the midfield. It has worked for them domestically, but they have better players than 80% of the teams in the Premier League. Man for man they can just about compete with Bayern and Barca, but at some point you have to mix it up.

Arsene Wenger and Manuel Pellegrini seemed to be want to keep it at 0-0 in the first half, with neither English team really pushing forward. In all honesty, both were lucky to be scoreless at half-time.

But if the plan (and it's worked) is to keep it at 2-0 overall with 45 minutes left, you then have to go for it. Bring another attacker on at the break, change the system, gamble.

Losing the tie over 2 legs isn't the worst thing in the world, but losing without ever really trying to win is pointless. City had more changes than Arsenal, and at least rolled the dice with 30 minutes left. Arsenal don't really have the squad (or strikers) to do it, but this is why their managers are paid the big bucks - or is that just my opinion?

And who cares if you lose 3-1, 4-1, 5-1 or 6-1? You're out of the tournament regardless, and maybe grabbing that first goal puts the cat among the pigeons and ruffles a few feathers. You're not brave, heroic or valiant losers for hanging on for a draw after losing the first leg... you're just losers.

Does Arsene Wenger have to win the FA Cup now?

Yes, I know this is from last year's final!

No one expected Wigan to beat Manchester City in the FA Cup again - and this one was even at the Etihad in front of City's 'faithful' (many of whom were seen leaving with 10 mins left - I hope they missed it when Aguero scored the goal that won the league).

Once the semi-final draw was made, everyone presumed it would be Arsenal v City to basically decide the trophy - a repeat of a small team winning just wasn't possible, was it?

But now it's Arsenal v Wigan and Hull v Sheffield United. No glamour ties, but a huge amount of pressure on Arsene Wenger. Lose to Man City in the semi-final and it's somewhat acceptable. Lose to Wigan or Hull/Sheff United and there could be calls for Wenger to go.

Arsenal haven't won a trophy in a long time (it's all relative, but still a long time for them). The League looks to be gone this year, and I don't see them coming back from 2 down against Bayern Munich.

But the FA Cup is a real trophy - more so than the League Cup - and represents a great chance for Wenger to win something. He hasn't won anything since 2005, so it's about time.

You can't see Arsenal failing to win it from here, but Wigan deserve their shot at defending the trophy, and Hull are playing reasonably well - although no one wants to see Steve Bruce win anything.

No pressure Arsene, but fail again here and there really can't be anymore excuses.

Nothing (and everything) to lose for Arsenal and Manchester City

Arsenal and Manchester City both lost 2-0 in the Champions League this week in spookily similar games - a good first half, man sent off, late goal etc. There's no shame in losing to Bayern Munich or Barcelona, and in some ways it may help Arsenal and City.

They now have nothing to lose in the away legs - win and it's a famous success against all the odds. Lose and you can focus on the league. City are still in both cups, but Arsenal would only have the title to play for, and with their thin squad, it may help.

Chelsea have a slightly easier tie against Galatasary, and Jose Mourinho will seems to have a knack of getting it done in the Champions League. He'd love to win it with Chelsea - mainly as it hurt him to see Roberto Di Matteo win something at Chelsea before he did. Jose is petty like that, we all know he is. He couldn't congratulate Rafa Benitez for winning the Europa League, even though he knows deep down that Rafa did well.

And so this weekend in the Premier League may give us an indication of how teams will react after tough results in Europe. The Europa League may prove damaging for Spurs (in trying to make 4th), but more for Swansea (in the relegation scrap). Europe can be too much for smaller teams, it just stretches the squad to breaking point.

But for Arsenal and City, home games against Sunderland and Stoke are must wins. Lose at this stage and the season begins to unravel. Win and they can really focus on topping the table. For Arsenal more that City, a loss at this stage would be a disaster - and potentially kill the tiny bit of confidence they have left.

The Last 16 - Straight Knockout Son

Not quite straight elimination, but it's time for Europe's top club competition to get interesting.

Geezer can't pick all the winners (or I'd be in Vegas rather than at my 'real job'), but I'm going to try and pick the best team from each country (that has a realistic chance of winning it) and see if they end up as our Final 4.

The German option is easy. Bayern Munich are the best team out there right now. The fact that they are playing Arsenal means that Arsene Wenger's team have little chance of progressing. Bayern are a beast of a team right now, and only complacency can stop them advancing in my opinion.

For Spain, I'm taking Real Madrid. Barca and Atletico are two great teams, but Real have an easier tie to start with and are playing some great football. Teams seem to have a plan against Lionel Messi and Barcelona (although only Bayern have really pulled it off), but Cristiano can't be stopped. He creates so much by himself, and I think he may carry Real all the way to the semi-finals this year.

The English team is very hard to pick. Chelsea and Manchester United have easier draws in the last 16, but the latter can't win it. Moyes is just not tactically aware - he can't deal with Fulham, so no way that Chris Smalling and Jonny Evans can keep out Real, Barca or Bayern. Chelsea have a shot - it depends on the draw, but they may be a striker short from really competing. I've already ruled out Arsenal due to them playing the holders, so Manchester City are my pick for the last 4. It means beating Barcelona, but as long as Martin DeMichelis doesn't play, then they have a chance.

Of the remaining teams, I like PSG. They are more solid than in recent years and can score against anyone. Zlatan seems to know it's his time to shine, especially as he won't be in Brazil in the summer.

So it's Bayern, Real Madrid, PSG and one other for me. I said Manchester City, but I don't even buy it myself. I don't think an English team will make it to the last 4 this year, but it all depends on the draw. At this stage, you only need to win 3 ties to make the final. And that's why we love it.

Chelsea's future looks very bright

(Update: Seems Jose listened to the Geezer. Glad he went for it, and they really should have scored more than one. City threatened, but Chelsea really dictated the game and played to their strengths. Should they have Lukaku, Falcao or Diego Costa next season, Chelsea's future looks very bright.)

This was published before the 1-0 win over Manchester City...

If Chelsea lose away at Manchester City, they'll be 6 points behind the league-leaders with 14 games to go - win and you're level on points. So a draw it is!

Everyone is already writing Arsenal off for some reason, but this game is by no means a title decider. 14 games is a lot of football, and all 3 teams will drop more points along the way.

Chelsea face a tough task at the Etihad, there're no denying that. City have won 11 of 11 in the league, scoring 42 goals in those games. Taking a point from them will be tough, and trying to defend for 90 minutes isn't the way to go. Chelsea have look vulnerable this season at the back, but have real quality going forward.  Let Hazard, Oscar, Willian and Lampard get on the ball. Test Joe Hart, and even more so, run at Martin Demichelis - he's the obvious weak link.

Mourinho is usually very solid tactically - he's not Special or the Chosen One, but he knows what he's doing. He can't outscore City, but he can put pressure on them and try and establish a his team on the front foot. Quite simply, if Chelsea sit back and try and play the counter-attack, they will lose.

Get Ramires on the ball, let Lampard dictate a slower pace (that's the only gear he has). If Yaya and David Silva start bossing it, the game is lost. Chelsea need to dominate possession and get the ball wide - and not mess about at the back.

Be bold Jose. You can't win or lost the title today, but you can make a statement as to what your Chelsea team are going to become.  

Are Arsenal and Chelsea already playing for 2nd?

There's no doubt that Arsenal v Chelsea is the big game this weekend in the English Premier League - that's why it's on a Monday night so that people living in the US (me) can watch it at work. I'd rather be in the pub, but it will be full of Arsenal and Chelsea fans. Back to the flask in the drawer I suppose.

But are these two already playing for second place? Manchester City look fantastic. They score so many goals that they can afford to give away comedy own goals like Vincent Kompany did against Fulham.

Here it is in case you haven't seen it enough...

Don't forget City are without Aguero right now, haven't even played Jovetic, are just getting Kompany back and are playing DeMicheles. They are fun to watch, unless your team is playing them and are going to take some stopping.

Arsenal have been fantastic, but may not be able to score enough goals once Giroud has a dry spell. Chelsea concede too many and have had a dry spell from their strikers all season.

Liverpool are buzzing after another great performance from Luis Suarez. They are not a one man team, and have Gerrard and Strurridge to return, but they won't be able to stop City from scoring. In fact, no team in the league will. And this kamikaze season of goals seems to be playing right into City's hands. If Joe Hart can't be relied on as much, just allow him one mistake a game, and then score 2 or more yourself (or about 6 based on current form!).

So why did Spurs let him spend all the money?

There are a lot of average footballers in the picture above. But they cost well over $100 million, and are probably not as good combined as Gareth Bale was individually. Paulinho can play, Eriksen is very good, but Soldado has looked poor, Chadli is average, and Lamela must have a great agent - as he cost $40 million, yet isn't good enough for the bench? There's also two or three others that really haven't improved teh squad, let alone the team, so you have to question why they were bought.

AVB is not a bad manager, but he's been out of his depth at Chelsea and Spurs. He can't dominate a dressing room like his mentor Jose Mourinho, hasn't got enough experience to pull him through a tough period, but ultimately, didn't seem to have a plan B. Spurs got beaten at home by a poor West Ham team with no striker, were embarrassed away at Man City, and humiliated at home to Liverpool. He needed more time, but there weren't even signs he was getting his message/tactics across.

Players have to be accountable, and none of Spurs' players have been. If Andros Townsend is the bright spark this season, it's going to be a long time until May. But AVB didn't get the best out of them, and maybe Gareth Bale's magic lst year was simply papering over the cracks.

Who wants that job? I'm sure plenty of people do, but AVB may have to wait a while to get a position in England again - should he even want one.

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But let's not take anything away from Liverpool. They were outstanding - probably as good as they have been under Brendan Rodgers. He's had a bit of time, and is forming a team that competes - having Luis Suarez helps, he's a joy to watch, but it still brings a smile when he's kicked. It's nice to have a villain - and a good one at that.

Man City v Arsenal was a fantastic game of football unless you're a defender. There were so many chances that it could have been 11-8. It's not schoolboy football though, so both teams may have to tighten up if they are going to win the title. But I'm fine if they don't - watching a goal every 10 minutes is a great way to start the weekend.

It's better than watching West Ham v Sunderland or Hull v Stoke. Two awful games that show the gulf in quality between the top teams and the hangers-on. These 4 can't compete at the top, but they would all be lucky to be allowed into the Championship after this weekend's results.

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After Inter lost to Napoli on Sunday, I lost interest in the European review - there's only so many Rafa Benitez plaudits I can take. Real Madrid drew ("Nothing without Ronaldo"), Neymar scored a couple ("The Next Messi"), Juve won ("Tevez Wants Messi Role in Brazil"), Bayern Won ("Steak Extends to 76"), PSG won ("Made Up Headlines Continue")...

Arsenal and Man City need a first leg lead

To be played Feb. 18, 19, 25, 26 and March 11, 12, 18, 19

Manchester City	v	Barcelona
Olympiakos	v	Manchester United
AC Milan	v	Atletico Madrid
Bayer Leverkusen	v	Paris St Germain
Galatasaray	v	Chelsea
Schalke	v	Real Madrid
Zenit	v	Dortmund
Arsenal	v	Bayern

Who got a good draw? Who is regretting not winning their Group? And is Gonzalo Higuain still crying?!

Manchester City have a good chance against Barcelona in my opinion. Although Messi will be fit by February, so will Aguero. I think City will score home and away against Barcelona, and it will come down to who has a better defence. Kompany is the best defender on either team, although Pique runs him close. It's the others that offer opportunity, and Mascherano probably can't keep with the City players, although Martin Demichelis is a liability for City too - much depends on how few errors those two commit.

Manchester United will be happy, although David Moyes might now be. He's expected to guide his team past Olympiakos, but we all know he hasn't lived up to expectations yet.

Atletico Madrid will beat AC Milan. Why, Diego Costa is top notch. So is Super Mario, but Milan aren't playing well - although could be by February I suppose.

PSG v Leverkeusen. Have to take Zlatan, Cavani and the other superstars - especially as Manchester United put 5 past the Germans in Leverkeusen.

The Drogba tie. Galatasaray are a decent team, but Chelsea should win. But then there is the Didier Drogba factor. He'll probably score against his old team, and cry, and run to Jose Mourinho. But Chelsea are building a strong team, but they need a defender and a goalkeeper - Petr Cech isn't an accident waiting to happen, he's happened - and we're all still watching a laughing/crying.

Real will beat Schalke. Dortmund will beat Zenit. 2 easy ones!

Then there's Arsenal v Bayern Munich. A very tough draw for the English League leaders, but whoever got Bayern was going to struggle. They move the ball so quickly and a clinical. Arsenal need to bring in another striker (not a cup-tied one) and take their chances. They got schlapped by Manchester City at the weekend, but Olivier Giroud still should have had a hat-trick. He's not bad, but he doesn't finish enough key chances. If Arsenal just get one in Germany, they need to take it. Arsene Wenger will happily take any trophy this year, but Bayern are probably too strong for it to be the Champions League. The same as Manchester City, they need to be leading after the first leg.

Huge tests for Arsenal, Napoli and Leverkeusen

Is tomorrow's early Premier League game the clash of this season's top two? Or should Chelsea still be among the favorites despite their ability to ship at least 2 a game? Liverpool are still there, but may not even be the best team in their city.

Arsenal away at Manchester City this weekend is huge. City have won 7 of 7 at the Etihad and scored 29 goals in that span - that's an average of more than 4 a game, and they have just conceded 2. Arsenal's defense has been pretty solid to start the season, but they were cut apart by Napoli in the week, and you have to think that Aguero, Silva, Yaya Toure and company (not Vincent, although he's a threat at set plays) are going to give the Gunners a run for their money. Mertesacker and Koscielny have been very good this season, but City move the ball so quickly and playing on the half-turn is really not their strength. If Jenkinson plays too, I think Navas will exploit him and really test that offside trap.

But Arsenal are not 5 points clear after 15 games for no reason. Ramsey has been a beast, and Ozil creates at least one great chance per game - the key may be whether Giroud or Walcott can take that chance - Ramsey has been scoring loads, but the forwards are the players that will decide if Arsenal can maintain their push. Bendtner off the bench isn't that inspiring when you're losing.

There's a big game for Liverpool away at Spurs too. Lose and you're have to think they will slip behind Chelsea and Everton, both who have home games that they should win easily. Liverpool have failed a couple of tests so far this season, but are more than just hanging around  - Suarez is scoring so many goals that you hardly notice the injuries to Gerrard and Sturridge. However, if the Uruguayan is not firing, can anyone else take the responsibility?

Some big games for West Ham at home to Sunderland and Hull home to Stoke. All 4 of those teams need to start getting some points. More losses and some of the managers may be getting nervous - Steve Bruce is doing well at Hull right now, but they are due a bad run at some point, so need to accumulate while the going is good.

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Roma remain unbeaten, but trail Juventus by 3 points - hard to imagine, but Juve have won 13 of 15 in Serie A, yet couldn't reach the knockout stages of the Champions League. Maybe Serie A isn't as strong as predicted it may be this year. Napoli also didn't advance in Europe, but have a huge game with Inter this weekend. Both teams need a win to stay in touch with the leaders, but the pressure will be on Napoli at home. Inter are unbeaten away, and will be looking to Rodrigo Palacio to nick one - after going out of the Champions League, Rafa Benitez can't afford to lose.

***

Fair play to Bayer Leverkeusen - they are desperately holding on to the coattails of Bayern Munich and reached the knockout stages of the Champions League in midweek. It's going to be tough for them to compete on both fronts, but it's tough for anyone against Bayern (apart from James Milner!).

Is it ok for Higuain to cry?

Arsenal may have lost 2-0 to Napoli last night, but they still qualified for the knockout stages of the Champions League - where they will have a tough task due to finishing second in the Group (but that's another topic).

But while Arsenal were celebrating, Gonzalo Higuain was having a little cry about the 'injustice' of his team being eliminated from the competition despite winning 4 of their 6 games. It's hard not to have sympathy for the striker, but should he be crying about not reaching the last 16 of a tournament?

Maybe he was dreaming of a game against his old club Real Madrid, maybe he lost some money after betting on himself to get the first goal, or maybe he was just upset not to qualify. But crying because your team went out seems a little too much. Of course he can be upset, show some emotion and be in touch with his feelings, but it's not like they were seconds away from winning it all.

I'm being too harsh, I know. But would he cry if Rafa Benitez subbed him against Inter this weekend? Does Rafa cry everytime one of his old players scores against him or calls him the fat Spanish waiter?

People should be able to express emotions in sport, but crying over not qualifying from a Group in which one of the teams had Nicholas Bentdner in it isn't going to get you far. You should be embarrassed, not upset.

Now go and win the Europa League, get another trophy for Rafa, and then cry about it.

Who the English teams could get in the last 16

The draw for the last 16 is on Monday. This is who the English teams may play:

Manchester United will play either:

Galatasaray, Olympiakos, Schalke, Zenit St Petersburg or Milan

Chelsea will play either:

Bayer Leverkusen, Galatasaray, Olympiakos, Zenit St Petersburg or Milan

Manchester City will play either:

Real Madrid, PSG, Dortmund, Atletico Madrid or Barcelona

Arsenal will play either:

Real Madrid, PSG, Bayern Munich, Atletico Madrid or Barcelona

Shows how much easier it looks when you finish top of the Group.

I'm working on the other possibilities, but the Geezer has been busy!

Where are we with the Champions League?

Qualification for the Champions League knockout stages is almost done. There are a few loose ends to tie up, but that's about it - and the rich are about to get richer as almost all the big teams are through to set up some fantastic ties in the last 16.

But it's all about winning the Group. Qualifying for the knockout stage is a success for some, but should be the minimal requirement for those who spend unthinkable money every year. Not just the English teams, but all the big boys have splashed out, and if you can't beat teams like Viktoria Plzen, Austria Vienna and Anderlecht, then you have bought the wrong players.

So here's the breakdown....

PSG and Atletico Madrid bossed their Groups - and that's the price teams will pay for not topping the Group. Nobody wants to play them, Barca, Real or Bayern.

Bayern have won 5 from 5, and it's hard to imagine them not beating Manchester City at home in two weeks. City are through too, which counts as a success, but they may need an easier tie to progress past the last 16 - and there are no easy ties in the knockout stages of the Champions League. City can, and will, score against any team - but they look shaky at the back. I don't agree with Kolo Toure that they will rue selling him, but they do need a quality defender - someone like Vincent Kompany, not Kolo Toure.

Manchester United are through again. Their Group wasn't easy, but they made hard work of some pretty average teams. David Moyes will be happy to advance, but I can't help thinking that United are going to get spanked by someone. Rooney is playing well, but there is nobody in the midfield that other top teams would want. In fact there's nobody in the United midfield that any other team wants on their bench.

Juventus are going to have to get something in Turkey against Galatasaray - a draw will probably do it, but Drogba and Sneider may have something to say about that. Juve look so good in Serie A, but very inconsistent in Europe. Anything but qualification will be a huge failure for them.

Chelsea are in. Basel or Shalke will join them. Who wins that Group is still to play for - but it won't be Steaua Bucharest who are now 22 games without a win in the Champions League. Basel have got 6 of their 8 points against Chelsea - what seemed an easy Group has turned vaguely interesting. Chelsea need to win it, or they will face a tough task in the knockout stages against other Group winners.

Arsenal have won 4 of their 5, yet sit just 3 points ahead of Dortmund and Napoli. Should they lose to the Italians in Naples by 3 or more, they could go out - with 12 points! Marseille have lost to everyone, so that Group of Death thing didn't quite work out. All 3 teams will still be in Europe, and I'd say the team who finishes 3rd would be favorites to win the Europa League.

Ajax stayed alive by beating Barcelona, but they will have to beat AC Milan in Italy to advance. I can't see either topping the Group as the Catalans play the already eliminated Celtic on the last Group match day.

What's the rush? Let me get a cuppa first

Jack Wilshire didn't even give me a chance to get a tea (beer) or settle in for the afternoon.

Here's that goal after 33 seconds for those of you who missed it.

Not a bad finish - especially as he's the saviour of English football, or did his week with that label pass already?

Huge clash in Germany; Chance to forget Milner has 44 caps

So watching Ronaldo was fantastic (by far the best player in the world right now), seeing France come back was inspiring (although many people wanted them to miss out), and some of the African qualifiers were great - but now we have the 32, it's all set. International friendlies are awful, as anyone who watched England v Germany will testify. So let's get back to some club football, see some quality, and not wonder how James Milner has 44 caps for England.

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So Everton v Liverpool eh? Martinez v Rodgers. Personally I think Roberto is a better manager and seems to be able to get teams to actually play. He sticks to his principals and has inherited a very good Everton team - the face they have Romelu Lukaku too seems a little unfair, but so be it. Liverpool are very strong going forward, but as we saw against Arsenal, Rodgers doesn't seem to have a Plan B. If Sturridge and Suarez are not firing, Coutinho and Gerrard need to boss the game - because Jordan Henderson, Victor Moses and Joe Allen have all been poor. To say Liverpool need another striking option seems excessive at this point, but they do if they want to really contend.

Arsenal need someone other than Giroud too. A huge game at home against Southampton. It may not sound right, but they need Walcott and others to take the burden off the Frenchman (because he's not that good).

Some early relegation games loom too. Hull v Palace, Stoke v Sunderland and Cardiff v Manchester United! We're coming into a key period where teams need to win games rather than draw, and not let themselves get detached from the pack. West Ham need a win, as do Fulham, but so does everyone I suppose!

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A repeat of last year's Champions League final in Germany this weekend. Dortmund against Bayern. First against second, with the reigning champs unbeaten, conceding just 7 goals in 12 games.  Bayern haven't lost away in the Bundesliga for 24 games, which is just unreal, but they will be without Frank Ribery who was injured for France. Everyone is injured for Dortmund, with their defense really suffering - and as no one can stop Bayern scoring, don't be surprised if Mario Gotze notches against his old team. He's bound to get a lot of abuse from the fans, and should probably avoid Jurgen Klopp screaming at him too!

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I'm bored of La Liga. It's so early to say that, but there isn't a game that really interests me this weekend. Barca without Messi, Real without Khedira and Alonso - yeah, big losses, but those two giants have so many other players. Just means we get to see more of Neymar and Isco.

The top 5 in Serie A are breaking away too, but perhaps it's more interesting to see how bad AC Milan are. 10th after 12 games, no away wins, 19 points behind Roma already and nothing too bright on the horizon. They still have Mario tho, and he's worth admittance on his own.

Of course van Persie would score; Don't rush Messi

Robin van Persie was bound to score the winner against Arsenal. It was a reminder that Manchester United are far from out of the title race, and Arsenal aren't the clear favorites for the league. Both teams will be there or thereabouts in the run up to Christmas, but much will depend on the strength of their squads when the league, cup and European games are coming thick and fast.

One player United won't be bragging about in their squad is Marouane Fellaini - if Tom Cleverly is coming on before you in a big game, you cant be that good. He doesn't fit in at Old Trafford, and I can only think that Moyes wanted him as a familiar face around the place - but he really wanted Leighton Baines, and seems to have ended up with Fellaini when he couldn't get anyone else.

Manchester City, Chelsea and Spurs are 3 teams I just can't work out. Great one week, awful the next. Spurs probably haven't been great all season, but they should be so much better. They don't create anything, and Soldado looks completely lost. Andros Townsend was the savior of England a few weeks ago, but cutting in and shooting every time you get the ball is probably the reason he wasn't offered a second month's loan spell at Leyton Orient. In the words of John Barnes, 'there's only one way to beat 'em, get round the back.' Soldado needs crosses to score, surely that's why they have all these wingers.

City are a strange team. They have no excuses (Joe Hart wasn't playing) for not beating Sunderland. Smashing Norwich by 7 doesn't mean much if you are going to allow Phil Bardsley to bully his way into the box and finish (and yes, he did finish well, I'll give him that).

Chelsea were saved by a dive to maintain Mourinho's run at home. Get Lukaku back as soon as you can/play Mata/sell Obi Mikel/get Courtouis back to replace Cech. Because no one else can understand why you haven't done these things already.

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PSG are going to win Ligue Un. Zlatan is just too good. End of.... Juventus are going to win Serie A. Not as certain on this one, but Roma are coming back down to earth after their amazing start, Napoli couldn't live with Juve yesterday, and Tevez, Pirlo, Llorente and Pogba have all the quality they need to compete in multiple competitions... Bayern Munich are too good.

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Will Barcelona miss Lionel Messi? What do you think? But they need to be patient. His hamstring injury could keep him out a few months, but they still have more than enough quality to beat the majority of teams in La Liga. Xavi, Iniesta and Neymar don't become bad players because Messi isn't there. Real Madrid will be hot on their heels now that Ronaldo, Bale and Benzema seem to be clicking, but the overall quality of the opposition in La Liga means that Barca should be able to at least keep pace until Messi's return in late-January.